Ever wanted to have a totally useless plastic surgery operation to give yourself Vulcan ears or invert your belly button? No? Well, that’s probably a good thing. But just because you haven’t considered such preposterous procedures doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Here are ten of the strangest cosmetic surgery procedures that you could imagine. And the strangest thing? They’re not even a little bit fictional.
#1 Ear Lobe Reduction & Ear Pointing
Ear lobe reduction is basically what you’d expect it to be.
People with dangling lobes can choose to shrink the size their ears. This can be done either by taking a wedge out of the middle of the earlobe or by taking a wedge from the front part of the lobe that attaches to the face. The former leaves a more natural looking ear, but the latter prevents the appearance of scars. It’s an easy enough procedure, and can be performed with local anesthetic. Earlobe reduction is more unexpected than strange, especially when you consider this next error in judgment.
That’s right, ear pointing.
Surprisingly, this surgery is also basically what you’d expect it to be. Except that it’s not really considered a surgery, so it’s often performed in tattoo or piercing parlors. Why would someone undergo ear pointing? Either because they have a masochistic hankering for public Lord of the Rings and Star Trek taunts, or they’ve always wanted to be a Keebler elf. Whatever the reasons, ear pointing is one strange plastic surgery.
#2 Toe Shortening
Do you ever feel like you’re cramming your toes into too-small shoes? It can be frustrating when fashionable footwear just won’t fit. But why buy one size up when you could have your toes lopped off?
Okay, that’s an exaggeration. But you can have your toes surgically shortened for reasons of comfort or looks. Under either general or local anesthesia, an incision is made in the top of the toe(s) and the bone is shortened to correct the length issue. Weird, right?
#3 Belly Button Inversion
Do you have an innie or an outie? The good news is it doesn’t matter, because if you’re unhappy with your belly button you can change it.
Going by the disturbing title of umbilicoplasty, belly button surgery is often done in conjunction with tummy tucks. Learn more about Belly Button Plastic Surgery.
Dimples are adorable. Usually. It’s easy to understand the urge to have a more appealing smile, and dimples certainly amp up the attractiveness level of many celebrities, like Jennifer Garner.
And it’s simple enough to dimple yourself. An incision is made in the cheek and held in place by a semi-permanent suture. It’s an easy procedure with little to no down-time. But do faux-dimples stand the test of time? They tend to stretch with time, and don’t hold up as well as the real thing. And strange, saggy slits don’t do nearly as much for a smile as they should.
#5 Six Pack Plastic Surgery/Abdominal Etching
Everybody wants the body without the work. If you could get a six pack from chugging six packs, wouldn’t you be into that? It may not be that easy, but abs of steel might be less work than you think.
Six pack plastic surgery is emerging as a new alternative to gym membership and hours of sweaty exercise. However, abdominal etching is not for the seriously overweight. People who have generally athletic physiques and just need to suck away those extra tummy pounds are the best candidates for this one. And after abdominal etching, diet and exercise are required to maintain the look. This surgery is mostly for the fellas, but can be done for women too, and is often combined with liposuction. While going to the gym might end up being more respectable for those who crave chiseled abs, abdominal etching has the advantage of getting you there with no time and effort.
#6 Eyebrow Transplant
Upset that your eyebrows look thin? Upset that the head on your hair is too thick? Then you’re in luck. You can move some of that head hair to your face.
Seriously though, people with overplucked or naturally sparse eyebrows can have hair follicles transplanted from the back of the head and shaped to form fuller brows. The procedure takes about 3-4 hours and 3-6 months later, brand new hairs begin to shape up your face.
On another note, there is a great new eyelash growth home treatments called Latisse (made by the company behind Botox injections) that can get you long and lush eyelashes within as little to 6-8 weeks without any surgery.
Learn more about Latisse Eyelash Growth Treatment.
#7 Bicep or Calf Implants
Much like the six pack surgery, bicep or calf implants are intended to give the appearance of muscle where muscle either doesn’t exist or is not prominent enough. Candidates for this procedure are often people who can’t seem to develop muscle after trying to do so through exercise.
These implants are used to create the illusion of muscle in the legs or arms. Often the implants are made of silicone. Although generally safe, these surgeries can have a lengthy recovery time – especially calf implants, which keep the patient off his or her feet for a significant time. And hopefully patients aren’t too overeager to return to the gym (since they couldn’t get results there to begin with), because most complications with this surgery result from overuse of muscles too soon after surgery.
#7 Cosmetic Hand Surgery
Hand surgery doesn’t sound that weird, and it’s an umbrella term. Sure, there are hand surgeries to correct problems associated with arthritis or other ailments.
But does hand surgery cross the line to vain when it’s all about the veins? Some women choose to undergo cosmetic hand operations to reduce signs of ageing. Veins are removed strategically to avoid affecting blood supply to the hands. One hand is done, then after sufficient recovery time, the other can be done. Swelling and pain are the main side effects.
#9 Bifurcated tongue
Okay, this one definitely crosses the line. And, for good reason, it’s impossible to have your tongue split in the U.S. At least legally. The tongue is split from the tip towards the base in this operation.
Usually a scalpel is used in the operation and both halves are sutured together. Sometimes people have thick tongue piercing before splitting. After the operation, people cannot eat or talk normally for about 2 weeks. Tongue splitting can also be achieved through a long binding process, which is even more painful than the more expedient procedures. Weird, weirder, weirdest.
#10 Knee Lift
We’ve all heard of the bee’s knees. Well, an equally illogical and random bit of knee trivia – knees can be fat. Have you ever heard someone complain of fat knees? Probably not, because it’s not a common ‘problem area.’
But for women who are unhappy with their flabby leg joints, there is a solution. The sagging, excess knee skin can be nipped and tucked to create the appearance of younger, slimmer knees. There is usually evident scarring following this procedure, but other than that, side effects are rare. Demi Moore did it, why shouldn’t you?none